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Bow Ties Aside, Chuck & Blair Are Not "Goals"

Bow Ties Aside, Chuck & Blair Are Not "Goals"

I recently started Gossip Girl again, as background noise for my various computer-based activities. My dear lil' heart misses New York more than I expected and the rush of the Upper East Side, though completely unrealistic compared to my previous Big Apple experience, brings me joy. So I began the saga of Serena and Blair, Chuck and Nate, and the misfit Humphries all over again. I had forgotten how tragically clueless Season One Nate is, or how Chuck has a lot of growing up to do before he's the swoon-worthy Bass everyone raves about. 

Let's pause there. 

"Swoon-worthy Bass."

You probably have a friend that went through her GG obsession phase. Mine was senior year of high school. I lived and breathed the drama of Manhattan's elite, even though I hated the slight resemblance of those personalities in individuals I came in contact with. Needless to say, I quickly grew tired of the on and off again Serena and Nate, Serena and Dan, Serena and...the list goes on. So my attention shifted to the, in comparison, consistent Blair and Chuck. As Chuck lost the scarf and adapted bow ties into his daily wardrobe, and Blair showed her superiority as Queen B, they become my favorite. They became everyone's favorite. They went from a teenage romance to an idolized T.V. couple, 

Round two of the New York trainwreck is showcasing *again* just how ridiculous that idolization is. 

Let's clarify one thing first: I find the idolization of any fictional (or, heck, real-life) couple to be completely uncalled for. You and the lucky guy or gal you're dating will have your own quirks, traditions, and cutesy little nicknames that will inevitably turn the stomach of a passing 13-year-old. AND *rant is almost over, promise* no couple, real or unreal, you or someone else, will ever be perfect and that is that. AND no, don't you dare use the Jim and Pam argument because office romance is a stretch. AND Marshall and Lilly don't count either -- shall we revisit Red's escape to San Fran? Ok, I am ready to move on. 

Chuck and Blair's relationship, though well-dressed and quick witted, is nothing more than a tragic, dishonest, fairytale gone wrong. Yes, they did get married in Central Park under those fabulous arches, and yes, peonies are lovely flowers and ought to grace the top of the Empire State Building far more often, but their relationship is not one to idolize. Heck, it's not even one to admire. They lie to each other constantly. Chuck sells Blair for a building. They play mind games that never end well, and their relationship could never be described as pure, much less "good". 

But I don't need to tell you any of these things. You already know these things to be true. You know these landmarks in their relationship just as well as I do. Yet we still look at the over-the-top glamorous portrayal of love as good. We look at Chuck and Blair, just as we look at other fictional couples. As something that we want -- something that we need. 

When we idolize couples like Chuck and Blair, we give others permission to act as they acted. We give young men and young women the "ok" to act on whatever sexual indulgence and selfish act they desire, to be petty, ruthless, cheating individuals who then expect to have their happily-ever-after presented to them on a silver platter. 

Our words say "no", but our actions say "well, ok". 

If you are looking for the Chuck to your Blair (or the Blair to your Chuck) you are looking for something drawn to heartache, catastrophe, miscommunications, and headbands with giant bows. All of which will lead to regret later down the road. But, I know you don't really mean that you want all of those things when you say this. You mean that you want grand gestures, happily ever after, and a wardrobe to kill for. You want the highs, not the lows. I get that. But the fact of the matter is, every relationship you will ever be in will have both good and bad. The question is, do you have the trust, respect, and common appreciation for the other person to make it out stronger than before?

Chuck and Blair didn't. 

Ladies, you don't need Chuck Bass. In fact, you shouldn't want Chuck Bass. What you need is someone who respects you, encourages you, and is worthy of your trust. I'm not telling you to find the perfect man...I'm just telling you to look past the glamous fiction and towards what will create your own happily ever after. 


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